so many plans..

and so little time... actually its so little effort on my part.. time i guess we do with what we have.. that little perseverance is what im lacking at present..

anyway.. guess the main thing is do what ever rocks your boat .. jst dont look back... cause it means jack!!

To have loved and lost....

" Tis better to have loved and lost..
Than never to have loved at all"

Personally i would rather have not loved and lost... ignorance is truly bliss in such cases

.. than live life knowing that that voice you once heard.. those soft and loving hands you held are no more and never will be..

i only have memories and they do fuckall!!
sigh..

relationships

ive never in my life ever been single since.. 17 i think.. between 13-17 ive been a few times.. :D
anyway now im betrothed (ugly word).. but sometimes i wish i wasnt. I wanna do what i like doing best (please note i didnt say what i do bets.. i dont do any well!) and anything when ever i want. life is too short.. and too full of complications.. why complicate it further for the future .. ah well gotta walk the talk.. these feeling only come to me when i want to do something i know really shouldnt be... anyway..

somehow any thing with obligations first thing before comiting i look for loopholes and escape routes.. my scape is planned.. my mind made up!!im a real jerk i think!

so theres this guy..

basically we have been having these steammy ass chat sessions since 2004 .. yes ever so long.. and i actually only met him last year or begining of this year... im not all that sentimental to keep dates of these moments... anyway i jst love chatting to him he drives me so totally crazyy but the thing is i can only be that crazy online... im not an offline person... maybe a bit lazy.. and maybe a little shy.. im i would say a very boring lover!

Also the guy ehemmm is not quite my cup of tea.. but i still get turned on when chatting to him.. but only chatting.... even when i met him all i could think of was escaping ASAP.. but even now when i chat all i can think of us keeping him online.. you think im some sick online perv!!! :D

But i love chatting... but not with jst anyone.. i hate people who start by saying ASL.. or slip a dear in the the conversation really turns me off.. actually i dont have steamy conversations with jst anyone.. infact its only this one person whose made me all hot and bothered .... all my other chats are jst genral mundane day to day shit.. anyway..thats that...