dried flowers

title has nothing to do with the content.. needed a title and valentine flowers are drying in the vase.. so .. above

i feel it happening again.. everything that goes up comes down... beginging and end..do people find that ever lasting flower?

first it was like 12 ish then 3 ish now.2.5 isng ... decreasing has started.. boredom is setting in.. must stop before it all gets wasted :)

happiness comes from within.. how the hell do u locate it .. wheres that on button...

how do u not hurt people.. absolute transparency ? or jst stay away.. from too many ..too indepth kind of involvements...

should i sleep or should i stay?

need some cheap entertainment..

confused.. are we really

havent written in ages.... not that my life hasnt been without any action ... geez.. so much and so sensitive in nature i dont wanna write here either.. well maybe in a vague manner ..

i think i have perfected the art of flirting now.. .. people are so predicatable that i cant deviate even a little.. and for me.. its monotonous... sigh....or i keep going for the same type.. who vary only in looks..

i told my better half i dont wanna marry.. after a week of silence... he managed to make me feel bad about .. anyway its on again.. but its funny how i make up my mind.. i mean i still dont wanna m,arry but i can accept certain things and proceed... the flip side of that is.. i, gonna get nasty.. after some time.. probably a few years.. and then no one can really say anything to me.. cause i didnt want to get married right.. god people are so fucking mad about this marrying business.. why cant they mind their own buisiness.. and who cares what others say.. for thatw eek of silence and when i thought i got my way.. wow the dreams i weaved .. :D.. anyway inhave slightly cvhanged as welll.. jst do what i want // i guess im selecretly hoping i will get ditched.. looks like no chance.. for all my thoughts.. im not as bad as i may sound.. sigh.. soemtimes i wish i had normal thoughts and was a normal bitch

im gonna start doing various charity work.. i think that comes with age as well :d


;p.. gotta get back to offline living now ..over and out

its saturday and im BORED

Sometimes or rather most of the time i feel i dont know what i want.. in life.. im talking in terms 360' ...

I think i like being depressed and alone.. u come across so many inspirational thought provoking blah blah but i guess unless u really wanna change it will continue to be blah blah :@

changing how one thinks is damn hard even if u know change is for the better ..

man its so hot.. wondering whether i should just put the fan on... lazyyy to move anything but my fingers..

I was having a smoke today and i noticed the neighbors son camouflaged (did i spell it right) by trees on his balcony watching me .. if his mom saw i feel sorry for him .. conservative muslims they are .. and im all haram.. too old... wearing too short shorts.. surrounded by dogs.. and ash !!! anyway i couldnt enjoy my damn smoke after seeing him .... havin one after weeks too..

I dont know what to do today.. i have class at 2.30pm .. i read a bit.. damn such a boring saturday... why do we always wish what we dont/cant have! ok im bored with this too for now..ill go back to Hogwarts ... or ill end up shoving thingss in to my mouth ...

its war

im on the war path with my to be in-laws - i hate when people piss me off.. will bide my time and make them pay for probably what they dont even know they did... ahhh

yesterday...

road rage.. i didnt think it existed till i experienced it .. wow.. its uncontrollable right.. i dont mind crashing in to someone who annoys me.. thats how bad i am.. once i did it.. im not attached to my car as most people are i guess.. its just a transportation for me.. and also a tool of destruction when required.. but i only did it once.. some blogs here have actually helped me curb this anger at times.. but yesterday i came close to wanting to knock another car .... and then someone was blocking my path close to home so i stopped my car and had a good shout atleast.. i wish i had a gun!

I know its wiser to control this and think i am better than that jerk.. but sometimes to let it go is such a thrill eh!

I use to sing it just for the sake of it.. i never truly understood what it meant till last night.. now when i sing it i feel so melancholy and poignant.. i think age does that to you.. but some parts in this are thought provoking..

Our father by whose servants, our house was built of old,
whose hand hath crowned her children with blessing manifold,
for thine unfailing mercies far strewn along our way
with all who pass before us, we praise thy name today

"The changeful years unresting their silence course have sped..
New comrades ever bringing in comrade steps to tread
And some are long forgotten, long spent their hopes and fears,
Safe rest they in thy keeping, who changest not with years..

They reap not where they labored, we reap what they have sown
our harvest may be garnered by ages yet unknown
They days of old have dowered us with gifts beyond all praise
Our father make us faithful to serve the coming days,
Before us and beside us, still holden in thine hand
A cloud unseen of witness, our elder comrades stand
One family, unbroken, we join, with one acclaim,
One heart, one voice uplifting, to glorify thy name...

I never thought i would appreciate this as i do so now... guess ive grown up.. hopeful just a little..
hope i didnt missed anything... gulp

New York New York

I cant remember how young i was, i remember what i was wearing this luminous green tshirtty top.. tiniest mini skirt i could find and these green sneakers.. with a wedge..location - BE, i wasnt even semi drunk..

Ive been watching this guy across the dance floor, dancing away with so many girls.. he was cute, savvy, smile to die for and most of all had rhythm.. anyway i remember jst drinking him up with my eyes.. he didnt glance my way even one fucking time... but wait

and then finally they announced it the last song they are gonna play that night and out of the blues... this guy was next to me.. no hi whats your name talk.. he just grabbed my hands and said this is the last song and you have to dance with me.. who am i to complain.. anyway the cat seriously got my tongue.. he held me in his arms.. he was an incredible but talented flirt who didn't ever take advantage of anything.. anyway like most things in life the dance too came to an end ..

We did dance together after that, however sometimes when something is so close for your grasping you hesitate and that thing moves along.. and best of all you really dont care anymore..

I saw him recently.. after x many years.. glad i hesitated ;p